That fear thing...

Fear of judgment:
I just realized my biggest weakness: I am afraid of making a fool of myself around Austrians. Like a real fool. Like enough of a fool to actually meet some Austrians and become their quirky American friend. I need to get over this and go make friends with whatever horrible language skills I have. This is my goal: I will make an Austrian acquaintance within the next two weeks. I will.

Fear #2: meeting new people
February 1st in the next meeting of the Alpine Club Vienna--a group that operates in English. Hopefully, this will be a successful venture and I will meet some new people. My fellow IES student, Matt has said he is interested in coming with me to that meeting. Hopefully he will hold good to that.

Pretty Dress and Euro:
There is a ball in a week. I am trying to decide if I can afford to find a used dress and pay the 20 Euro entrance fee--it would be an incredible night but potentially like prom all over again especially if Fear #1 & 2 hold true. Plus, it will be pricey. So many decisions, so little time. Another fear: money. Always in my head. *Sigh*

The Illusion of Fear:
I went to find the practice rooms near my apartment this evening. Creepiest adventure ever. I was never in any danger but I did accidentally trespass on the wrong building. I found the street I needed--LOOONG walk and I had to keep reminding myself that this was not Chicago or Tacoma--but they gave us the wrong building number and the building I first went to was unlocked. I wandered up a staircase trying to find the practice rooms. The lights turned out on me half way up the stairs (they do this to save power) but when I tried to find the button to press for the light and accidentally hit someone's door bell. I felt so guilty. I apologized profusely but I got the impression I annoyed the crap out of them. I then wandered up the other stairs, and crossed the courtyard to wander up the other two staircases with no success. This building was old! And there were all these creepy unlocked doors (one which led to a brick wall). At the bottom of one of the staircases, it looked like the lock had been broken and their was this ancient set of steps down to what appeared to be a very spiderwebbed basement. I had to fight back the sound of ostinatto strings in my ears. CREEPY! This apartment building was straight out of the old haunted house movies. And here I was trespassing and wandering around.

When I finally got outside again--rather angry and pissed since I wanted to practice--I looked over a couple doorways and discovered a key pad on the building next door. I was so relieved when my code finally worked. Luckily these stairs were quite well lit however they were just as twisty. When I did finally reach the top, I discovered the coveted keypad again meaning that I had FINALLY found the practice rooms about an hour after setting out. Let's just say the rooms are not particularly nice and Martha would certainly not approve (especially w/ all the mismatching doors, broken lights, and water stains from obvious roof leaks) but they were quiet. And the best part, they are on the roof which means a really pretty view of the building next door.

I have auditions tomorrow for the Performance Workshop. Not supposed to be too big of a deal but I want to do well. Therefore it is sleep time.

Happy fear-busting!